25 Things to Do in an Exam You’re Destined to Fail

[STUDY MONTH] – Post 1 – 24 days till vacation.

As a gift to all my fellow students, the following few posts on this blog will be dedicated to the time of year we all dread – exams. I’ll call it, Study Month.

I’ve thought of pretty hardcore ways to procrastinate this swot week, but I think I’ve found the Holy Grail. Right here, are 25 (seeing that there are just 25 full days until exams are officially over) ludicrous and downright daring things to do in an exam when studying your ass off for three weeks, and going to all but one lecture, just isn’t enough. Let’s face it – some exams are made for the sole purpose to make us, students, look like, well, idiots. This is how to rebel, like idiots! Enjoy!

1. Write all your answers in a language that no one else understands. Klingon usually works well here.
2. Instead of bringing water to the exam, bring a flask filled with whiskey and see how quickly you can get yourself drunk.
3. Rock up to the exam dressed like Bear Grylls. Proceed to build a “shelter” using your neighbours’ desks with your friend as the camera man.
4. Arrive late running into the venue, hands in the air, screaming, “There’s a bomb in the building!” Sign your name on the register, and run out again at full pelt.
5. Bring an alarm clock with and set it to ring every 15 minutes.
6. Answer all your exam questions ending with the phrase: “And that’s why this exam means so much to me.” and beginning with the phrase “According to the

   

   My inspiration! (Courtesy of 2pep.com)

   prophecy…”

7. If your exam is on a Friday… Enough said.
8. Try your best to start an impromptu Mexican Wave (if shouts of Olé! are accompanied with it, you have struck a goldmine!)
9. Suit up/sundress up, bring flowers (box of chocolates if they’re really hot) and present them to the invigilator before the exam. Be sure to make your intentions known!
10. Pretend that there is a blood-thirsty bee about to attack you. Get up and start clapping the air randomly, screaming, “It’s going to eat me!”
11. Use your script as a very large tissue. Hand it in.
12. Write exam sitting underneath your desk after complaining that the chair is too uncomfortable.
13. Pick on the people who look as though they’re doing well, telling the invigilators that they’re making a noise. Repeat until they’re disqualified.
14. Spel evry worrd rong onn purpoise.
15. Run to the toilet screaming, “Ohhh, God! It’s a big one!”
16. If there are actually questions you do understand, punch the air just like Sylvester Stallone.
17. Cross-dress.
18. Play dominoes with the desks.
19. Insist that the students and invigilators sing the national anthem before the papers are handed out.
20. Order Steers just before seating and have them deliver it to the venue. Don’t forget to include the seat number as well.
21. Drop down and do push ups next to your desk every 15 minutes for the duration of the exam. Encourage other students to join in, and give the invigilator a (completely made up) explanation on how beneficial it is to one’s concentration levels.
22. Bring a bag of carrots or celery stalks along. Proceed to munch on them loudly throughout the exam.
23. Shout “Add me as a friend!” when the invigilator uses the term, the face book.
24. Scrunch you paper into projectiles and start a paper fight that’ll, hopefully, spread right across the venue.
25. And lastly… if you don’t wanna fail – perhaps cheating is a good starting point?

Anyway, that’s enough procrastination for today! Keep reading this week for more Exam Time Blog Specials!

Happy studying,
- reddevilandy10