Post-Springboks Ramblings
It’s pretty insane how much more you tend to appreciate people when you’re marginally drunk. Yes, I am typing this whilst a vile of brandy and vodka circulates through my body, but I can still understand, etc. Tonight was incredible. Not only did I offload a mountain’s worth of rubble upon another’s shoulders but also, I captured some truly memorable images too, mainly of my friends dancing like monkeys on the Springboks dance floor. (more…)
The Days That Define Our Friendships
Warning: This post contains strong language.
Sooo…
What can I say about today… (more…)
Are You the Storm, or the Sunshine?
Cape Town always looks gorgeous, even during a storm. (Courtesy of twitter.com/grahamandrobert)
That is what I missed earlier this morning. That is what I’ve missed for most of the year: Cape Town – my home; in all its glorious beauty.
This semester is dragging now. Seriously dragging. I have 18 days, 18 DAYS left in this stupid little hole-in-the-ground middle-of-nowhere town. During these 18 days, I write four dubiously simple exams.
*Sigh*
Apart from Paul Scholes announcing his retirement, (see my tribute here) which gave my morning an already melancholic tinge of grey, I’ve heard some more, somewhat more personal, and therefore, more distressing news today too…
Apparently, there are some things I don’t miss about home… Let me tell you about it, shall I? (more…)
The Realisation of Reality
“In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.“
- Mark Twain
Apologies for the last post readers. My blog is oftentimes used as a proverbial wall that my fist is furiously aimed towards. I’m calm now, I think. Well, at this moment, I’m calm.
For the most part of that post, I was upset… but the other, I was merely speaking for the millions of people who actually do feel the same way, every day, but say nothing. Sometimes all someone needs is a reassuring arm on their shoulder, accompanied with the words, “I understand.” There is a possibility that I have grown too attached to too many people, making traveling to and fro a headache, heartache and utter nightmare. I’m practicing letting go, but it’s not without its pitfalls and sinkholes.
My rest last night was, for the most part, spastic; every-so-often being interrupted by a dream. I hate how I struggle to remember my dreams the following day – I believe they actually shed some light as to what is truly rotting my core. I know though, at least one of them was about her. I guess I’m terrified of waking one morning to find that I’ve lost her, all traces and evidence of her ever being in my life vanished. That is my worst fear.
I fear it is slowly coming true. The longer I am here, the larger the gap between us becomes. There is nothing I can do about it. Nothing. It is what it is. Things happen as they must. I just have a hard time coming to terms with it.
Imagination’s Unpleasant Side
Warning: This post may contain language of a debatably controversial and/or explicit nature.
There are disadvantages of having an overactive mind. Firstly, you tend to internalize everything you construct out of nothing. Secondly, trusting people becomes hard as you see your own, usually bogusly untrue, perceptions of them. And lastly, you imagine what other people are doing at the same time… what you are missing. The latter, is what I am doing right now.
Just like a year ago, on this very day in fact, I’m lying in bed thinking about the person I’ve been giving the most thought to these past weeks. As it was then, when she gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little baby girl, I’m wondering if she’s okay. If baby’s okay. If everything is okay.
I hate ignorance – knowing facts, discovering more is what I live for. It would be a very stagnant and unfulfilled life if everyone just sat down and accepted that shit is how shit is, and it would always be that way. That’s bullshit in my opinion. Both her and I follow what out hearts intend us to – learn as much as possible. That’s what I love about her. She never just accepts things as the way they are. Yes, she has no choice in some instances, like all of us, but she still tries to make her own sense of the world. To me, this is probably the most important concept one should learn during life. Well, other than “it goes on”.
Anyway, I hope everything went smoothly. She was rushing around yesterday, sporadically falling asleep whilst chatting to me last night. I can’t believe it’s been a full year since everything began. I marvel at time – the way it cares not for anything and just continues without any account for the lives it controls. It’s truly amazing.
Happy 1st birthday little one. We love you.
- reddevilandy10
This Is How It Goes
Watching my friends walk out my front door and get into that car this evening was not the highlight of my weekend. Watching her struggle to open the door, and then look back at me was however, great. There was a longing, appreciative look in her eyes. God I love her eyes.
Anyway…
Tonight was fun. We basically all just chilled in my room. My small little cramped room. My bed though is the most awesome part of it. She fell asleep on it. Then again, everyone seems to. I wish she had stayed.
Seeing her really makes me consider my future. Really, where the hell am I? I thought about my dream home too. The pine-floored open kitchen leading into the living room, lined by French doors. Granite counter-tops, she would be sitting on it, the twilight glowing off her golden skins. All my friends gathered round, watching the footy on the big screen. Shouting, screaming “GOOOOAAAAALLLL!!!”. Sigh. It was a little day-dream for some reason.
I’m really gonna miss this. This city. These people. The inspiration I get here. I don’t want to go back, but it’s really not up to me at all. Not one little bit.
Punch-Drunk Love
“Drunk blogging. Be warned.
I love you. I see your face for the first time in ages and I’m smitten. I think you’re the most beautiful…”
This is what was on my laptop when I booted it this afternoon – presumably written last night after I came home. I still feel that way, even though I am pretty hungover. Getting drunk is such a bad idea. You divulge information that you wouldn’t ever in a million years if you were sober. Later that night, last night, after we came home from Springboks, I sent her a message, saying how I’d love her to be in my arms. I don’t know if I made a complete ass of myself or if it really made her think about my role in her life. Whatever it is, I feel that she knows how I feel.
She is so gorgeous, really. So, so gorgeous. I love looking into those big, immersive eyes. That long sleek hair. Those curvaciously defined legs. I even like her voice – it just calms me. It inspires me. I want to listen to it all day. It makes me write extensive yet totally pointless blog posts such as this one.
You can imagine then how it upsets me to hear that she is spending a lot of time with people who bring her no joy. Maybe temporary happiness, but no joy. She looked so sad last night. Yes, she told me it was because she has a lot on her mind. She needn’t feel like that. She can be happy. There are people who would do anything to make her happy. I want to make her happy.
Obviously, that’s a little difficult because of the distance issues, but screw that. If she’s willing to try I’m willing to try too.
I want to try. I wish she’d tell me that she loves me. I know she does. But will it ever be something romantic? Was Pringle just an incident, or did it mean something? I think it did. Well, it meant something to me anyhow.
Anyway, let’s speak about last night in general.
It was awesome. Springboks – how I’ve missed you. It was the first time I had been inside that place since… well, I can barely remember. I can barely remember much about last night too. It was so great! I had so much to drink. I feel so hungover now. But I just wish I had something else to smile about.
I apologize – my language is not very readable today. I feel awful, hungover, sluggish, tired and all that. So I’m sorry.
I wonder what we’re doing tonight if anything. I hope I get to see her. I really need to see her face again before I leave. I already feel pretty sad about leaving.
Early Morning Musings
Sigh. I always feel horribly sick when I least need to, like on vacation, for example – when I only have one week at home, and it’s already Wednesday morning. Oh well, I’ll have to man up or shut up I guess. I’ve had a good vac so far though. No real highlights, just good to be home.
I really have nothing to say on this blog recently it would seem. There hasn’t been much shit I’d consider newsworthy in my life lately.
I have thought though… its high time I get a girlfriend – someone who I’d actually enjoy spending more that one night with. I’ve been single for far too long now. I miss that drama that a relationship always seems to bring to one’s life. The fighting, the arguing, the smashing of unsuspecting crockery against the walls and tiled floors. Just kidding. I miss the companionship of another mainly. To be honest, I make a pretty good self-companion if that makes any sense, sounding anything short of freaky, but really, I have come to rely on myself more and more. It would be a complete change by letting someone new into my life – an environment that is as complicated as, well, a broth made with sheep’s head and elephant balls, perhaps? Not a good simile.
However, I’m pretty eager to see someone tomorrow. Well, we’re having a braai at my friend’s place and I hope I’ll get to see her there. Apparently though, there has been some moving and shaking going on while I was away. Sigh. Like it always does. I’m interested to hear all about it.
But I’m really tired, just thought I’d post before I forget!!
Untitled: Post #181
Hey readers. So, this week hasn’t been the epitome of endeavor. I’ve been asleep for most of it, curled up under miles of fluffy comforters. Before you judge, let me say that I have not been feeling particularly healthy. I’ve kinda lost my appetite – or will to eat anyhow. I think this place has finally got under my skin. Luckily, term comes to abrupt end this Thursday… well for me anyway. I’m looking forward to coming home, seeing my friends and family.
Speaking of seeing people, I walked past one particular today. You might remember her from my birthday post. Yeah, thanks for all the sympathy views too. Just because it was on my birthday doesn’t mean you have to explicitly read my blog. Anyway, we greeted, she spoke, I said: “Oh okay cool. Enjoy”, and then walked off. It’s strange how I feel, because a) I didn’t even know it was her until she said my name, b) I looked at her and didn’t think of feel anything, and c) I think I pretty much killed the initial thought of being with her, and I’m glad. I’m not sure how that would work. I’m so sick of having to settle for second best. Oh well, I suppose I can add another to that ever-growing list. Like a good friend I’ll be there for her regardless.
Getting back to vacation… it’s only a week-long. I have to be back here at 16h00 next Sunday. It is, I suppose, nice to have a break.
I gotta run though. Speak later.
March 5th: My Testimony
As so often is the case with events in my life, my birthday this year has been something of an overhyped extravaganza that never quite lived up to expectations. I do, however, believe that my 21st birthday was one of my most cherished, appreciated and memorable birthdays yet.
It all began at Pirates’ “Five-Rand Formal” party, where selected beverages were being poured for a few coins. I had so many drinks. So many. We then visited the perennial favourite Friar’s, where in my drunken state, was awfully unhappy. I kept thinking about pointless shit – ironic that I can’t remember what said shit was. With about ten minutes left till midnight, I decided to fly the coop and chase down a girl I really like[d]. I met up with her, only to be called something derogatory by her supposed friend. I then left them, feeling as though my night was not going to get any better there and was not prepared to see it get worse. It’s a good thing I left. I got home. I had a TC (see The Glossary). Took headache tablets, liver tablets, had a bottle of water. Slept.
I woke up at 8.20 this morning, 30 minutes before my official birth date, in tears, my arm wet, my face stuck to my pillow. I don’t know why I was crying in my sleep.
The girl I chased down was spoken of previously in this blog. We were always just friends, well, at least that’s how it worked unilaterally. I secretly had a thing for her. To cut a long story short, rejection is not something I find delightfully appetizing. If anything, I could not have had a worse conversation if I were talking to my executioner after sinning in the Victorian era.
This is the sick, twisted beauty of life though. In retrospect, if I had not been rejected and cheated on and belittled by the masses girls in my past, I would not be who I am today. Twenty-one years of learning, experimenting and experiencing all comes down to this – the present. And to be honest, I could not have asked life for anything more but to be who I am and where I am today.
To everyone that has had a part to play in my life, no matter how minute or seemingly insignificant, I’d like to say thank you. To those whom I love, have loved and shall love, I ask that you love me mutually, learn from the experience as I have and love me with all of your ability when you get the chance to meet.
It has been a pleasure folks. Over and out.
- reddevilandy10
The Monkey In Me
BEWARE: This post may offend some sensitive readers. You have been warned. Reader discretion is advised.
Okay, forgive me if the following makes no comprehensible sense, but I need to exercise this.
Friar’s teaches you a lot about life. It makes sure you know how to successfully pick up women, handle your liquor and watch out for too-unbelievable-to-miss specials. But one thing it doesn’t teach you is how best to deal with situations you will never deal with outside Friar’s. Seems obvious, right? But seriously, some things go on in that place that only, only ever goes on in that place.
That paragraph was slightly off topic, let’s back it up a little. You see, last year I fell in love with a beautiful girl who lights up every single ounce of my being. This girl makes me want to be with her all of thee time. Now, if I remember correctly, even though we were never ever officially together, we did share some amazing moments together. God, some awesome moments. So forgive me if I’m wrong in saying that when I see her with other guys I wish to pull their fucking jugulars out from their jaws.
I’m talking about two different things here. I’m sorry. Let me start again.
You like someone, a lot. They know you like them, a lot. They passively persist in kissing other guys in front of you, not so much but still, I can count. How do you feel about that?
How the fuck are you supposed to feel?
Yeah, I’m the one who is always there – so much so that I watch other people exploring your esophagus like fucking Darwin did Australia. It’s not cool. I don’t appreciate it. But yes, I do like being around you. Maybe not love you, like I do the previous girl I mentioned who still seems to not know what she feels for me, but I still want to be around you. The most important male figure in your life for instance. And yeah, it’s all good that you introduce me as your best friend but shit, that doesn’t exactly make the Sun shine any brighter. Sigh. I hate my life sometimes.
I get tired of holding on to something that may or may not realise. The people who are holding don’t even know, I don’t, she doesn’t. Where is it all going to end. I love you yes, but are we ever going to be more than just friends??
I’m pretty sure Friar’s could sort that out. God, girls hand out free kisses and grindings like it’s government aid supplies. Tonight was nothing short of awesome though, even if I am ending this evening on a slightly wet-paper-bag approach to (fun) life. Dull.
Yeah… Trying to Sleep…
Insomnia hey. The sorry little bitch always sneaks up on you when you least need her. Such is life.
Lying in bed, with a 8.40 lecture in a few hours and a tutorial still untouched is not really my forte. No. It scares me to think how much procrastinating I have actually done this week. I scare myself. Granted, I took the initiative of finding some of the textbooks I need online, saving me and parents quite a sum, I still need about 20 more. Sad sad world.
Anyhow, the first week of real work begins this week! Yay! Super duper excited. Cough. Cough. Blerg.
Sorry, being positive nowadays is like using an umbrella in a lava shower – stupid.
Sigh.
I’ll be happier later, I promise. I just missed talking to my girls this weekend. Have no clue how they are and it’s getting to me, not in a good way. I hate my imagination.
Peace!
Facing The West
Sigh. This is a first; I’m actually running out of things to say, or write. I hardly had any sleep last night. Kept on having dreams about things. I think you all can guess who I was dreaming about. But it was so strange because I woke up at 3am to find a message on my phone. I opened it, and here was this video of the most gorgeous Cape Town sunset, taken by an equally gorgeous girl. It was so awesome. Amazing how a tiny little thing like that can just brighten up your darkest nights, or insomnia-ridden ones. Just knowing that she took the time to record it for me is just, well, a truly incredible feeling. It actually started on that roof, but whenever I see a sunset nowadays, I think of her. I really do miss her.
The first week away from home has been a lot easier than last year. I think I’ve grown heaps and bounds since then. Or maybe, just maybe knowing that there is one person I can truly say I love back at home is just helping me be strong, and wait. Regardless, the work hasn’t really been much lately. No tutorials during the first week of term, but I still need to speak to the department secretaries about my details, so they don’t neglect to put me in a tutorial group.
Speaking of academia and all its relations, I may be joining the Pool Club this year. I play so much that I might as well do it for propers. First though, I have to sort out this stuff today. I’ve been trying to psych myself up about seeing the English and History secretaries for a few days. I know the English one, very sweet yet can pop, has been known to be a bit angry. Oh well, I’m gonna try to get some sleep before my next lecture. Until later…
- reddevilandy10
A Chance
BEWARE: This post may offend some sensitive readers. You have been warned. Reader discretion is advised.
I have a 90GB music library, but I can’t find one song fully explaining how torn up I feel. The wind has just scattered my shit. I barely know what I’m thinking of anymore amongst this mass of lies and untruths. Sometimes all a person wants is the truth – albeit how painful it may be.
On Sunday, my friends and I went to Banana Jam, a popular cafe in Kenilworth, Cape Town. It has become something of an institution for us this past year. We have to go there at least once each vacation we see each other. Naturally, I was psyched about this day. I’ve been waiting to meet up with the friends in a relaxed public environment for a while. We always seem to be at someone’s house or out clubbing, and it gets very boring very quickly. This excitement ended though as soon as I heard that my prospective love interest decided that she would like to bring her “male friend” (I don’t know what the fuck this guy is to her). So, after all the fun we had at Betty’s Bay, something that I will not divulge on my blog, and the chat we had the Tuesday following, she does this. Granted, I thought, “Meh, it’s cool, whatever” but then my mood changed to resemble something along the lines of a volcanic eruption.
We got to Banana Jam. We waited for her and her friend to arrive. I had so many questions, so many rages, so many unquelled thoughts and anxieties. I had a pizza, a plate of chips, yet I couldn’t taste a thing. And then, roughly an hour later, they joined. The awkwardness began. The quiet, falsely appeased Andy reared his head. I said not a thing to her but, “Hey”.
For the most part, I avoided looking into her eyes. I couldn’t understand how misleading those big brown orbs were. I thought I knew her, she’s a friend after all – possibly the closest friend I have right now – yet she can bring what she deems to be a friend with to our get together? What was she thinking? Did she want a reaction out of us? None of us like this guy. After all the shit she has told us about him, I’m surprised his mother still cares. And here, she sits next to him as though they’re here to make an announcement. I felt sick. I didn’t look at her again. I didn’t speak to her. I basically force-fielded my way out of any conversations. Eventually, it was time to say bye. I got up, without so much effort as it takes to lift a finger, I said, “Bye guys”, in the most unexcited tone I could find. She was unhappy about it I heard later. Good, then she knew how I felt after having to sit there swallowing my pride, anger and tongue.
She became a topic later that evening. My friends consoled me, even though all I wanted from them was to not talk about her. But, no. The analysis went on, and on, and on. Nothing much was usable material, all basically anger management class shit. The strange thing is though, after all that anger, smack and unhappiness was spoken of by the way she handled the situation between us, I still want her.
I have this conviction that I can change her, support her, be the person she needs to keep her from rockhopping. I love her. She’s my best friend. I love her like a lover would. All I want is a chance, and if not a chance, then an explanation. Somethings are obviously lost in translation, but one thing I meant that Tuesday, was when I told her that I love her. I honestly do.
I just want a chance. That’s all that people really want in life – a chance.
Secret Affection
Originally created on the 21st December 2010.
BEWARE: This post may offend some sensitive readers. You have been warned. Reader discretion is advised.
I’m not sure what it is, but there is one person in our group of friends that I feel will always be there when I need to talk, about anything. From intimate to mundane, she is there. The scary thing is, I have a history of falling for friends. Almost all of my girlfriends in the past were friends of mine previously — they all ended badly. What if I fuck this one up too? I know I love her, but as strong as my love for her is, I believe it’s just “friendly” love. The love you would have for a really close friend, or family member if you will. It’s not really what I’d call, romantic love. I’m not saying that it won’t mutate into anything, and that’s the part that scares me. I can’t control my emotions. I definitely can’t control my heart either.
I think we had become friends at a very tough stage of our lives. We just sort of, related. We could sense the other’s pain, troubles and issues, and counsel each other regarding them. We were there for each other when no one else seemed to be — at least it was for me. It was at a time when Grahamstown looked more and more a battlefield than a save refuge. I have her to thank, mainly, for always giving me those much needed words of encouragement, or greeting, or even just seeing her online and healthy was a beacon of light.
For some odd reason though, which I am yet to understand, she feels that same “out of place” feeling around our friends that I feel. Perhaps that’s the reason for my thoughts now? I’m not sure.
I’m not sure what it is, but there is one person in our group of friends that I feel will always be there when I need to talk, about anything. From intimate to mundane, she is there. The scary thing is, I have a history of falling for friends. Almost all of my girlfriends in the past were friends of mine previously — they all ended badly. What if I fuck this one up too? I know I love her, but as strong as my love for her is, I believe it’s just “friendly” love. The love you would have for a really close friend, or family member if you will. It’s not really what I’d call, romantic love. I’m not saying that it won’t mutate into anything, and that’s the part that scares me. I can’t control my emotions. I definitely can’t control my heart either.
I think we had become friends at a very tough stage of our lives. We just sort of, related. We could sense the other’s pain, troubles and issues, and counsel each other regarding them. We were there for each other when no one else seemed to be — at least it was for me. It was at a time when Grahamstown looked more and more a battlefield than a save refuge. I have her to thank, mainly, for always giving me those much needed words of encouragement, or greeting, or even just seeing her online and healthy was a beacon of light.
For some odd reason though, which I am yet to understand, she feels that same “out of place” feeling around our friends that I feel.
The Beautiful Irony
BEWARE: This post may offend some sensitive readers. You have been warned. Reader discretion is advised.
If there’s one place I always feel wanted, it’s my bed. My little cocoon, where I can be all alone, in a state of self-loathing, hating the world for all it’s worth.
I was thinking of doing a what makes me feel good when I’m down post, but figured, how often am I really happy?
I tend to oversleep a lot, because the mere thought of being awake makes me tremble with anguish sometimes. I don’t want to be who I am, and most days, it tends to show through my very thin facade. People shouldn’t know the real me, because, as far as I’ve known, I don’t even know the real me.
Faces in my life have come and gone. Walked on by or stayed for a while, earned my friendship and then fucked off home. I don’t want that, and I don’t need that, and I certainly don’t want to allow it anymore. They don’t like the me they see, so they back off, or assume that certain things are about them. If you can’t understand why I like being alone most days then you don’t deserve to be called a friend. Respect my fucking wishes, and when I tell you I don’t feel like company it has nothing to do with you. Nothing.
For what it’s worth, I have been a loner for longer than I care to remember. I believe it started way back in preschool when I used to get bullied often, and picked on my the girls. I wasn’t happy then, and, it seems to have followed me, a full 15 years later, to haunt me every so often. That is not the only reason.
Usually, the people most quick to leave me are indeed, lovers. Mind you, I have not had someone to call mine in two years, so I am a bit out of practice. I tend to approach these in the wrong ways, usually befriending the girl I like before attempting any type of romantic exchange. It always comes back to bite me in the ass. Every fucking time.
I’m not saying that that’s one reason why I’m gloomy more often than not, I’m saying it’s a primary factor. It’s awesome knowing that the girl you like will always be in your life, but if you fall in love with her, do you really just want her in your life? Would you stand back while she replaces you with another? No. But what are the chances of you actually being more than a friend once you are thrown in the friend box? Hardly any.
I don’t know what to do. I never had any clue about the decisions that I have made in my life. I usually just do stupid shit and hope for the best. But this, this is different. It has gotten to the point where I just want to be away from it. I don’t want to have to deal with the fact that I probably won’t get my way yet again. Naive, perhaps, but one can only handle so much. Pressure, I’m your man, but emotions, especially affection, then I’m probably the weakest I know.
Odd, but the one thing that is causing my pain, is the same thing that would actually help resolve it. Aaah, life.
PS: Listen to “Crush” by David Archuleta. The perfect synonym for my life at this moment.
Sobriety Girls
The 22nd of October. The day that first year officially ends. The day that everyone explodes with relief and euphoria. The day that everyone gets pissed out of their skulls.
I had a horrible day. I handed my journalism piece in tow minutes late, which resulted in -20%. I had like three hours sleep in total. I had the personnel in my psychology essay group send some really mean emails, not to mention a few of my friends too. It was bad. So, initially I was not in the greatest of moods. Luckily though, my day seemed a lot brighter after I visited the student bureau and got a few hours sleep.
The end of term for me is usually shit. It turned out to be a pretty good day.
I have, however, made a few observations as a result of tonight’s proceedings….
I wanted to get drunk. Absolutely brainless. That never happened. Instead, I spent most of the night at Friar’s stone sober. It allowed me though to see the other side of the mare, what people tend to disregard when they’re inebriated.
Drunks are assholes. I’m not sure if it’s because when you’re sober you’re more aware of your misdemeanors or general conduct, or whether you just become a thoughtless, narcissistic idiot who thinks you rule the world. Is sober really that aware? I know some pretty sober assholes, and no amount of alcohol can worsen or better that situation.
Are drunks really that much more honest? I saw so many strangers hooking up with randoms tonight; so many girls giving themselves to guys they barely know. Why? Is that what they really want, or are their brains just not functioning?
Mind you, I know some amazing girls on this campus. Some girls who would make you seem non-deserving, immature and just generally shit. They are so amazingly gorgeous, your world will stop, you’ll stand still, the moment you see them smile. I know them. And believe me, I don’t even deserve them. The boyfriends sure as hell don’t.
Anyway, I’m really tired. Had an all nighter yesterday so I’m pretty knackered. I shall give you the full story tomorrow. Until then, sleep tight.
- reddevilandy10
Welcome to the College Life
Two really early A.M. posts in the space of, what, three hours? Welcome to the college life readers. Turnitin is still being a selfish SOaB and I still don’t have that damn report – looks like it’s going to be a late hand in. Oh well, at least I have my psych 101 credit all wrapped up and garnished with a bow. That’s one positive!
Seeing that I have such an abundance of free time all of a sudden, let’s take you back, readers, to what was Saturday, October the 2nd, 2010.
Venue(s): Pirates and then Friar Tuck’s, Grahamstown.
Time frame: 20h00 till about 04h30am Sunday morning.
Objective(s): Getting my friend, Luke, totally legless. Happy Birthday bru!
So, this evening was always going to be a bit of a jigsaw puzzle when it ended. Somehow, you enjoy yourself even more when you know you’re get to play Horatio in the morning. You could feel in the air, the rainy, humid, almost Capetonian winter air that engulfed Grahamstown that evening, that things were going to get tragic. In total, Luke must have had about three litres of glee-inducing beverages. Me? In comparison? About 1.5. It wasn’t my birthday though to be honest… and I had made myself the designated cameraman!
We got to Pirates, kitted out with wide smiles from the not-so-well-diluted punch and were pretty upset when we learnt the lack of any drinks specials on the night. Nothing really happened here, except Warren (you’ve read about his previous escapades with Bushmansous, I’m sure) and JEF engaging in God-knows-what type of media tribunal political talk with someone who I’m sure is like a DA spy. I bailed, I didn’t want to think at that point in time. And besides, I wanted to enjoy my two slices of thick-based Pirates regina. That went down really well. So while the others were getting jam-jarred, I thought I’d have a draught and watch the MTN8 final. Yes, the Buccaneers won. Again.
We left Pirates just after 22h00, and scurried over to Friar’s through sticky drizzle… which just became more and more irritating as the night went on. By this time, those who had ordered a jam-jar each were pretty spaced and looked about ten percent dumber per essay than when the day began. Luke decided, once we arrived, to have a downing competition with another friend, Ryan, just to, well, finish the jug he had just bought, I guess. So they downed. Two full glasses each. Full of Russian. He then proceeded to order another jug. But this is the part of the story that starts to get really hazy in my mind. I, myself, had two double Russian specials, so I was pretty gleeful too. But what I don’t remember is why Luke and Warren decided to get up on the table. No one knows actually. It made one pretty epic video though! Apparently, those two had Zappa shots as well and about 20 minutes later, we were all on the dancefloor. Friar’s was pretty empty, not its usual self, especially for a Saturday…
I really can’t even remember how things unfolded after that. I remember being called a girl(in a much more derogatory way though) by JEF when I came from the bar holding a Russian, lemonade mix. I was thirsty okay! It’s not nice to judge. I downed it anyway. I was really starting to get hot too.
So we danced, from David Guetta, to Katy Perry, to just about everything else I’m sure. Luke was river-dancing. Ryan was dancing like bigbird from Sesame Street (and thus the birth of a great new nickname) and I? Well, I was… not sure what I was doing. I know it looked cool though! Some guys left again at 12, including another friend Tim, and his girlfriend, Sanam. They never go out with us. But was really great seeing them looking all awkward on the dancefloor – definitely not their usual habitat.
01h00 came and went by just as quickly. By this time, I had the mindlessness (epic fail alert) to go up to the bartender and ask for, and I kid you not, a “double coke and vodka.” Yes. I know. Judging by that alone I think it’s fair to say where my state-of-mind was.
In the end, only four of us remained: Warren, Luke, Carsey (Steve) and yours truly.
Of course, this is just a log of what happened, because what happens in Friar’s stays in Friar’s, but it’s really tempting to divulge more…
Mmm… naa, I’ll refrain this time!
We even managed to get a lift (the great part about associating with ladies who have vehicles in club environments at 4am) not only home, but to BP as well! We’re that good! I bought the usual: Squillos banana flavour and 10 ZAR worth of chips.
I’m pretty sure if we had not found a means of getting home that night by not using our own bodies, we would have found Grahamstown’s gutters extremely comfortable. Especially Luke, who was seeing some serious stars in that partly cloudly sky!
We got back to res at about 03h40 or so. I parked off on a couch, the others all found their one too. Out came the food. I spilled my Squillos which I was really, really upset about. Like, honestly, I was mortified.
We kept on having a debate on the girl-who-gave-us-a-lift-back’s name… We all thought Warren was playing the fool when he said her name was Ming-Yong but, it actually was! Well, not spelled like that but the French way or something to that effect.
Luke couldn’t remember phoning both his mom and his girlfriend. I helped him get to his door to as he couldn’t quite remember where he lived. The keyhole was a bit of a mission too… but eventually he opened the door.
I ran up the stairs (which, somehow, I can always seem to do 100% when spaced out of my mind), opened my door, jumped into bed and went straight to bed. I was knackered!
Lunch yesterday was very interesting. Bar the huge dehydration headache I had, we were all attempting to piece together the jigsaw of what was a truly immense night! It was one of those, when all you can do is laugh at the dumb crap you caught on the night before. One of those that you seriously regret the next morning due to the almighty headache felt in the morning. One of those where the bouncers pretty much applaud your exit, and are sad to see you leave. It was massive. Truly massive.
Cape Town is going to have to pull out all the artillery to live up to that night. Grahamstown is amazing with the right weather, atmosphere, date, and friends, it can match any other city in South Africa for value-for-money partying.
Moral of the Story: I think it’s only fitting that we have a moral of the story here. The moral, well, what I think the moral is: sometimes, a person needs to forget who he/she is in order for he/she to rediscover themselves. Don’t be afraid to enjoy your life, it’s yours after all, is it not? You should, however be afraid to not make the most of what is a really amazing gift given to us by the higher power of this universe.
Luke, bru, I hope that even though you did not remember much, that you’ll always remember this day as one for the internal scrapbook collection.
This has been a reddevilandy10 recollection. Over and out!
PS: Psych 102 semester essay has been completed, handed in and uploaded. Fingers crossed that it’s a good one!
Doppelgängers
You know those occasions when you’d be walking down the road minding your own business, perhaps even listening to music on your player… when your eyes catch a glimpse of someone who you think you know but haven’t actually seen in ages? Well, that’s just happened to me.
Same short brown cascading hair flying in the breeze, same height, same warm Capetonian skin tone, same small strides, the same way she used to runs her hands through her hair even possibly the same shoe size.
Okay, I guess I’m seeing all of this because I’m thinking of her, but still, God, this girl was a near copy of her. When she turned around though of course, she looked nothing like her, but from the back… I swear it could have been her.
Oh well, that’s life for you. Just when you think you see something the way it truly is, your perception is actually totally wrong.
It would have been great to see her again though… I admit.
To: You
There’s nothing worse than being able to tell the one who you love, who is actually one of your closest friends, that you like her. Perhaps, even adore her. What’s not to love though? Her eyes are made of pure innocence, her lips, crafted by the very angels who shaped the flowers in the meadows, her hair, cascading down her neck like a Summer rainfall, her smile, bringing colour to an otherwise black and white world… Who is she not to be acknowledged?
She amazes me. From the words falling from her mouth, to her body language – they put me in trances that only spells could break. Amazing how even though my life is perfect, I still need her.
I wanna make her smile every day, make her coffee, and breakfast in bed. I want to keep her warm in Winter, I want to be there for her when the world bites. I want to be a part of her life, a part of her being, a part of her soul.
I am ready to give it up for her. Being single for so long, I know I am ready to really give myself to someone. Someone who will treasure me as I treasure her. Someone who will treat my home as hers. Someone who will make my life the epitome of awesome.
How about it? Take a risk? After all, how does an eagle know if it can fly or not if it does not spread it’s wings and leap??
Think about it.
I really hope you do.
- reddevilandy10
Blogging Whilst Drunk
BEWARE: This post may offend some sensitive readers. You have been warned. Reader discretion is advised.
Look, okay, I have no problem with any relationship, but when it starts to affect your own personality then it’s time to call it quits. I understand if you may love a certain someone, but what is the reason for this “love”? Is it the fact that you know what this specific person offers? Of you know this certain person’s habits and rituals? Is it because you do not have confidence that you will find someone else in your life? Well, if it’s anyone of those, then God… what a waste of time life is.
I am always the so-called “jack-in-the-box” relationship type. I expect love in return, and that’s all. God, I am far from demanding. Play with my hair, keep my bed warm – that’s the minimum.
With you though, I swear it would be a privilege to be with you. You brighten up my day without even knowing it. You are the fucking sun in my sky, and you deny it. All I want it a chance. But no, the “friend box” is where I will stay, apparently. God, I’ve made this my unwanted home in so many relationships with girls. I have no beef being in your life as your friend, in fact, it is an honour, but seriously, missing out on pure bliss by not being with me just doesn’t seem a good life decision. I’m not gonna to be available forever. As your friend I feel that I should actually tell you this.
Think about it.
Regardless though, I’ll always be here for you. Trust my word.
Yours truly,
- reddevilandy10
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